Farewell to JSF Flight Test

28 August 2009 marks a personal milestone. It was my last day working on the Pratt & Whitney Joint Strike Fighter engine (aka the F135). It is hard to believe that I worked almost ten years on that program (and slightly more than 10 years as a UTC employee). Unfortunately, I had to leave the company for personal reasons.

I spent most of the last five years supporting ground testing of engines and flight testing of the F-35 Lightning II (the official name for the Joint Strike Fighter). I was able to see and do many cool things.

I attended the last bolt ceremony for the first engine to test.

I went to Indy to help install some equipment that Rolls Royce used to test their LiftFan.

I helped install and test the first STOVL ground test engine at our facility in Florida. I was hanging upside down at one point behind the LiftFan (the upward pointing cone in the picture below) trying to hook up cables I could barely touch but could not see. Obviously, before we started running the engine and there was a safety platform under me. Good times.

I was able to get some trips to Tennessee to learn how to test engines at simulated altitude conditions at Arnold Engineering Development Center (AEDC).

I spent some time helping out on Accelerated Mission Testing of a STOVL engine. Third shift was so much fun.

I then moved to Texas in 2005 to support engine/airframe integration testing in the labs (required for flight clearance). While there, I got to see and do more cool things.

I watched the first takeoff and landing of the first Joint Strike Fighter (AA-1) before they started calling it the F-35 Lightning II. The landing gear was extended, so it had to climb at a steep angle to keep within speed limits. The chase planes were on full afterburner trying to catch up. A very rewarding sight to an engine guy. First flight was followed up by a party at the Flying Saucer (where I scored free beer from an anonymous P&W executive).

http://www.lockheedmartin.com/products/f35/f35-video.html

I had the opportunity to test many engines in a Navy hush house. It was great to sit in a trailer, outside of a thick walled building and feel the ground shake when the engine was at maximum augmentation (aka full afterburner for you GE fans).

I watched the first takeoff and landing of the first F-35B, BF-1 (first STOVL variant flight).

I learned how to cover flight tests from the control room and was able to support a number of AA-1 flights.

I was able to attend the F-35C carrier variant rollout.

Finally, I got to cover the ground tests and first flight of BF-2, the second F-35B to fly. This took a lot of late nights, 3rd shift work, and weekends, but it was worth it. I even got a very cool challenge coin from the test pilot (he gave one to each of the control room folks). I covered all but the last two flights, including the first aerial refueling of an F-35B (click for a link to LM press release along with a great photo). These were some of the most difficult but also most rewarding work experiences of my life.

But while it was great to see and do cool things, the part of my job in Texas I will miss the most is working with some of the best people on the planet-the P&W/HS Flight Test Team. May our paths cross again one day.

If you are interested in this program, you can find out more at www.jsf.mil (lots of pictures there) or at www.twitter.com/f135engine.

The Great Move of 2009

Well, we did it again. We moved from one side of the Mississippi to the other. This time east bound to the DC area from Hell's Half Acre in Texas. It took us 3 days. We passed through big portions of four states. The cats shed a lot of fur. The kids (two this time instead of one) took some years off our lives.

Some highlights:
-Cats seemed to find tiny places with good claw holds in which to hide. Fortunately, nature has provided a convenient hand hold on the scruff of the neck. Otherwise, we would have left them somewhere (under a hotel bed or under the back seat of the truck).
-Saw Memphis, TN and was seriously underwhelmed. Place needs an enhanced blast weapon (instead of an enhanced radiation weapon). Kim Jong-Il, this one is a freebie.
-Stopped at Graceland, but the price and the wait (more than the price) made it unattractive, so we did not see the Jungle Room or the cars or the Gold Records. We did briefly see the airplanes (not bad for the time, but pretty unimpressive today).
-Did not see the ghost of Elvis on Union Avenue, very disappointed.
-Stopped near Roanoke to check out the Smoky Mountain Brewery and Restaurant. Good stout, so-so food (okay for a pub).
-Spent the night in Kingsport, TN (never heard of it before). We stayed at the Jameson Inn, which was pet friendly, people friendly, and NOT selected due to whiskey preferences.
-Stopped at the Natural Bridge-one big hunk of rock. Got completely soaked in the rain, but the kids seemed to have fun.
-Have become fully ensconced in corporate apartment (Cats have registered grudging approval due to high cabinets that they can climb).

We plan to check out museums (okay, just the Udvar-Hazy center at Dulles) in between house hunting and daycare/school hunting (no licenses required and no bag limit-yeehaw).

Christmas in Hell's Half Acre

Texas seems to like big things, including big trees. Picture taken with my camera phone a few days ago.

Halloween in Fort Worth

What was once a wild and weird night of fun, pranks, and little risk (the infamous needle in a candy bar or a kidnapping), is now a carefully regulated activity. Trick or treat occurs between 1830 and 2030 hours local time. Kids used to travel in groups having fun (at least when I was growing up in the last century). Now they seem to travel in ones or twos under close parental escort. Half the people on the block just put a bowl of candy outside, rather than truly participating in the holiday. Half the kids just show up and hold out their bags. You have to tell them to say trick or treat. Most still say thanks, so we are still in the decline of western civilization and not yet in the fall of western civilization.

Blue Angels Pictures

As requested, some pictures from the Blue Angels performance at last weekend's air show (tailgated in Cabela's parking lot with the rest of Texas). Pictures aren't fantastic, snapped with a Canon Digital Elph, so minimal zoom and not the fastest aperture in the west....

Wing tip to wing tip in a giant loop in the sky....


Five ship formation in a low altitude pass....


Four ship formation, two inverted, low altitude pass....


Four ship diamond formation in low altitude pass....

Who complains about living near an airport?

Because when you live near the right one, you get to see the United States Navy Blue Angels flying over your house for free!!! Hoo-yah! Go Navy!

Not swimming yet...

But it has been close. It rained for almost three weeks before I left Texas. I was gone for 3 weeks, but was told it rained while I was gone. Then it rained for most of the last two weeks. I was told Texas was hot and dry, not overcast, humid, and wet. Fortunately, no flooding in our neighborhood.

Today was the first nice evening in a long time, so the whole family went out to the pool and splashed around (I know, I know, complain about the rain, then as soon as it dries out, head to the pool-irony is ironic, don't you think).

Number 2 child is walking and almost talking. Now if we can get Number 1 son potty trained, life would be really good.

Looking forward to a motorcycle ride this weekend if the weather holds.

Real Pizza in Texas

This may not be a big deal to you, unless you grew up in Chicago and then left for other parts of the country. Nobody else's pizza ever tasts right. And most places insist on cutting pizza's into pie shaped slices, which is okay if the pizza is small, but makes them unwieldy if they are large. Most places in Chicago cut regular (non-deep dish) pizza's into square shaped pieces. This makes them small and easy to manage. I finally found a place in Texas that knows how to make real pizzas. How? Well, it turns out they are from Chicago, that's how. Enter Little Joe's Famous Chicago Pizza and Restaurante. Now I never heard of them before, so I don't know how famous they really are, but their menu states they originated on 63rd street and have locations in Tinley Park and New Lennox (following the exodus out of the city no doubt). When we opened up the box, I immediately declared that it looked like real pizza. The taste wasn't too bad. The sauce was a little mild for my preferences, but otherwise everything else was much better than any other local pizza joint.

We can now survive in Texas indefinitely.

Thar she blows....

This is a story of how when life really sucks, it blows.

On or about 10 DEC 2005, my wife used our downstairs bathroom. When she hit the flush lever, the toilet bowl filled with water and failed to flush, followed quickly by a stream of water shooting out of the base of the toilet. I shut off the water supply and once the toilet bowl drained out onto the bathroom floor, the water stopped leaking. I mopped everything up, called the landlord to complain and closed the bathroom door. I would have put up the yellow crime scene tape, but I didn't have any on hand.

But wait there's more...

As you may have noticed, we just moved into this house and are still getting settled. There were no prior tenants, so we are discovering all of the new house problems. So, Monday, 12 DEC 2005 rolls around and we are busy hooking up the washer and dryer. Beyond a quick leak test on the washer, I did not do a test run. Monday night, I was upstairs messing with the computer setup, while my wife is running our first load of laundary. My wife screams something about water on the floor. I head back downstairs and find the carpet is soaked on the first floor and water is apparently coming out from under the bathroom door. I open the door and find brown water and raw sewage covering our bathroom floor, with evidence in the toiled bowl indicating it blew chunks all over the floor. An ironic twist. Laundary service is shut down and I start laying down cardboard to cover the wet carpet, since we have cats and a baby likely to crawl through the area.

It takes a few days, but final analysis is that the outside sewer line had become partially blocked. The upstairs shower and toilets probably had enough head pressure to push past the blockage, but the first floor toilet and washer did not, leading to our little weekend shit explosion.

Now I am sure you are thinking, how could things get worse for our intrepid heros? Wait for the next post. It may be a little while, because the wounds are still a little raw.

I hate Allied Van Lines

This is the most frustrating household move I have ever made.

I arranged to have Allied Van Lines move my household goods to Texas. No problems.
The transportation costs were around $6400 but we move an entire house and the estimate was $6200. No problems.
Our goods were picked up on 19 November and did not make it to Fort Worth until 28 November (still within the 6-11 day window). No problems.
The driver did not call and tell us he had arrived. Instead, the goods went straight to storage at Allied's local warehouse. Problems begin.
The local warehouse did not call and tell us our furniture had been delivered. Additional charges are now accumulating unbeknownst to us. Problems are increasing in scope.
The still happy couple finish negotiating a lease on Wednesday, 30 November, taking their time, since they did not know their goods were in town. The couple calls the driver, who admits that he dropped the goods off at Allied on Monday. The couple calls Allied and are informed that no crews or trucks will be available until 06 December and that storage fees will be charged (no amount stated) for the entire time. Awareness of problems begins.
The not so happy couple contact the Hartford office on Friday to see what can be done about these storage charges, since they were ready to receive delivery. Hartford says too bad, so sad, you should have called us first. Couple is frustrated, but is only expecting to pay a few hundred dollars extra.
The soon to be extremely unhappy couple begin receiving phone calls on 05 November, reminding them of the 06 November delivery and informing them that $2400 in additional charges and fees must be paid or the goods would not be delivered. Many bad words were thought and stated out loud. Many many many bad words. The Hartford office was called but they were not responding to voicemail. Wife had a meltdown. Being concerned for the continued health of pregnant wife, husband folds and pays outrageous fees to Allied but vows to get lawyer. Hartford office now calling and apologizing but explain that the $2500 was actually discounted from $4000 in additional unestimated fees. Husband now vows to destroy Allied Van Lines by any and all legal means available.

WANTED: Hungry, ambitious member of the Texas state bar seeking to make a name and pile of money from a big company.

I didn't die and go to heaven....

I went to Texas instead. I am driving around in the most granpa of automobiles, a big, white Cadillac Sedan. For some reason, some words from Dennis Leary's Asshole Song (from No Cure for Cancer) keep running through my head.

"I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado Convertible, hot pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers and when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna wipe my mouth right on the American Flag and then I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why Two words: Nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Germany, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a big democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead, he's frozen! And as soon as we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? Have you ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times, that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Lee Marvin and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of whisky and drive to Texas."

Flying Saucer Beer Count: 3

Off to earn some more beer points (or maybe off to drink some more beer pints).