9/11 after 14 years

Fourteen years. I can't believe this much time has passed. So much has changed, and yet, so little. I looked back on 9/11 seven years after the attacks and wrote a blog about where I was and what I did. When the SEALs killed Osama, I blogged about it (from Afghanistan no less). I wrote about it back 2013 on the twelfth anniversary. I guess I should say something about it on the 14th anniversary. I can tell you I still hate that day. I tried to watch a video about it and had to put my phone away because I just couldn't watch it without losing my shit. I discovered this Amazing Spider-man written by J. Michael Stravinsky today, but totally missed it when it came out. I kept losing my vision while trying to read it and it's just a bloody comic book. The best quote from it?

"You wanted to send a message and in so doing you awakened us from our self involvement. Message received. Look for your reply in the thunder."

Maybe there is something broken inside of me now. I don't remember crying about 9/11, but today, I nearly lost my shit several times. Too many losses over the last few years. I lost my Mom and a pet this year. I lost my Dad and multiple aunts and uncles between 2005 and today. I think it all added up into a tidal wave of shit.
So I often self medicate with music. Do you have a playlist related to this tragedy? Here is mine:

Don't Tread on Me by Metallica. I chose this because the local rock station in Hartford, CT was playing this song after the second tower collapsed.
Let's Roll by Neil Young. I am sure you can figure out why.
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue by Toby Keith. Because it's all about 9/11 and kicking ass.
Letters Home from the Garden of Stone by Everlast. Because the line "we're going in with the day light" resonated with me.
If I Ever Leave This World Alive by Flogging Molly. Should be obvious why this feels right.

I found a few more here and there, but these are the big ones. What resonates with you?

12 Years Later

It's hard to believe that twelve years has gone by since 9/11/01.  We invaded Afghanistan, Iraq, bombed Pakistan, Yemen, and Libya, engaged in multiple raids, including one that killed Osama Bin Laden.  Fears of terrorism seem to have faded to background noise.  War seems to be the normal state of affairs.  The TSA has sometimes mindbogglingly foolish rules, which only seem to reduce our dignity without truly increasing our security.  I got married, had kids, buried my father and my father-in-law, moved three times, and changed jobs twice.  I have been to war and came back with minimal scars despite some close calls and foolish risks.  I guess I don't have much to say these days, since this blog has been so dormant.  I just felt the need to say something on this anniversary.  I guess the emotional shock has faded and the trivial, tedious parts of life have once again taken up most of my attention on a daily basis.

Usama Bin Laden Is Dead!

... and the first question that popped into my head, will it hurt any less on the tenth anniversary, knowing UBL was turned into shark shit? I hope so. I hope those who lost someone on that day or in the wars that followed feel something other than the hole where they once family or friends.

A little over three years ago, in response to an picture on Wired's Danger Room titled "Don't you f'ing forget", I wrote about what I was doing on 9/11/01 for the seventh anniversary. Today, I will write about what I was doing on the ninth anniversary. After years of wondering if I would ever be mobilized, I received orders putting me on active duty with the U.S. Navy in Afghanistan. I spent September making final preparations for my 400 days away from home. On the ninth anniversary, I had a reasonably happy day, watching my son and his team (Go Marlins!) play t-ball, knowing I would miss the last several weeks of the season. I tried to learn some Dari (with an iPhone app) and some COIN (from the infamous field manual). I was in the middle of reading Ghost Wars by Steve Coll (the fifth book on Afghanistan I had read since receiving my orders). I worked on our will with my wife. I transitioned what I could to my coworkers. I spent what extra time I could with my kids and my wife and my friends. It was not a bad time, but it was hectic and it went by too fast.

Even though I had nothing to do with the operation against UBL, even though I realize that his death probably means nothing, strategically or tactically, to winning this Overseas Contingency Operation (our new name for "the war"), I find it hard to express in words how proud I am to be serving in the military at this time and how proud I am to be an officer in the United States Navy (can I get a hoo-yah?). Perhaps a quote from another to reflect on my feelings at this time:

"I can imagine no more rewarding a career. And any man who may be asked in this century what he did to make his life worthwhile, I think can respond with a good deal of pride and satisfaction: 'I served in the United States Navy.'"

President John F. Kennedy, 1 August 1963, in Bancroft Hall at the U. S. Naval Academy.

[Public Papers of the Presidents of the United States: John F. Kennedy, Containing the Public Messages, Speeches, and Statements of the President, January 1 to November 22, 1963 (Washington: US Government Printing Office, 1964), 620]

To the operators and analysts and support staff that made the raid into Pakistan possible, I salute you (and envy you a bit). You serve in silence in a world rarely seen by the citizens of your country, but on 01 May 2011, you became rock stars. I have full confidence that one day, you will sail home with a broomstick tied to the yardarm. A clean sweep.

To our enemies still at large, rough men, willing to do violence on our behalf, are coming for you. May you die filled with the terror you sought to inflict on others.

I will observe the tenth anniversary of September 11th attacks from Afghanistan. Perhaps I will be able to answer my question then.

Seven years later

It is amazing to me that 7 years have gone by since the towers fell, the Pentagon was hit, and Flight 93 fell to glory.  I have gotten married, had kids, changed jobs, moved out of the first house we owned and I still haven't had the privilege of kicking Usama Bin Laden hard in the nuts.

What is the obvious thing to write about?  Why answering the first question anyone asks, where were you on Der Tag?

It was a Tuesday morning.  I was at work in a meeting dealing with a technical issue that seemed incredibly important at the time.  No one came and told us anything, but when we walked out of the meeting, there were TVs everywhere (little personal black and white portables).  And people were staring at them in shock.  I remember sitting at my desk and trying to get to CNN's web page, but the network was dead slow.  I don't think we got much work done that day.  After staring in disbelief at the developing story, I eventually got hungry, so I went out to grab some lunch and pick up the engagement ring for my then girlfriend, soon to be fiance (and now the mother of my immortality).  When I got back to work, I couldn't get in my normal gate-there was a cop blocking access.  I finally found a gate where they were letting people in, but we had to show our badge (never had to before) and there were cops there too.  [explanation: I work for a company that builds numerous aviation/defense products, so they decided they were high on the target list and screamed for help-silly businessmen].  I think I called the woman at her desk, then called back to the house, where both my future mother-in-law and my friend Metron were hanging out (he surfs the internet so I don't have to).  I called my commanding officer, who told me to sit tight.  I called my parents.  Couldn't figure out what else to do at work (although we were immediately bullshitting ideas for invading Afghanistan or maybe just nuking the planet), so I went home (past our new armed guards).

Did I mention that I had just signed up for flight lessons?  My timing, as always, was perfect.

None of us could figure out what to do at home (I think I watched the towers fall about 50 times that day), so we trekked out to a local brewpub for dinner and that most important food, beer.  Lots of other folks seemed to have the same idea.  Must be some sort of defense mechanism (when attacked, fall back, circle the wagons, and drink).  We watched the President's speech that night at the pub.  Went home, went to bed (after staring at the pictures from that day again on my computer-ain't the internet wonderful?).

Woke up the next morning, found the flag, figured out how to approximate half mast, and flew it every day that way for 30 days (day and night).

Still seems unreal even after all this time.

My biggest regret is that I did not stop to see the World Trade Center when I was in New York City in August of 2001.

Here a links to web pages celebrating the anniversary:

Don't You F'ing Forget (from Wired's Danger Room Blog)

Popular Mechanics Debunks 9/11 Myths

And from This Day in Naval History:

"2001 - One hundred twenty-five Pentagon employees, including 42 Sailors and Department of the Navy civilians, are killed along with 59 airline passengers when terrorists fly a highjacked airliner into the Pentagon."