What I can do out of the things a human should be able to do

Since I have a rather pompous quote directing people to know various things, I thought I should status my own accomplishments to date.

change a diaper-done (and will keep changing everyone that I cannot legitimately dodge)
plan an invasion-not done (hmmm-who should get invaded next? Which country has the best beer and the friendliest wenches?)
butcher a hog-not done (not really planning on trying it out either)
conn a ship-done-USS Fitzgerald in 2002-we did not run aground or collide with other ships, so I guess it was a success
design a building-not done (although there is something of a dream house forming in my subconscious)
write a sonnet-not done (wrote some pure doggerel in high school, but nothing of sonnet quality)
balance accounts-done (in more than one way)
build a wall-not done (knocked some holes in a few walls)
set a bone-not done (although I did break a bone)
comfort the dying-not done (not looking forward to this one)
take orders-done (too many damn times)
give orders-done (no one asked whether they were followed....)
act alone-done (get your minds out of the gutter)
solve equations-done (all the way through partial differential equations)
analyze a new problem-done (well it was new to me anyway)
pitch manure-done
program a computer-done (Apple II, Commodore 64, some FORTRAN, C/C++, various scripting languages)
cook a tasty meal-debatable (I liked it, but others have disputed that reheating frozen food is not cooking)
fight efficiently-partial (I have learned how to fight efficiently, but have not had to use it)
die gallantly-not done (plan on delaying this one till the very end-ha ha)

Rescue Line for Victims

-----Original Message-----
From: Eric Lamoureux, Governor's Office of Emergency Services
Sent: Wednesday, August 31, 2005 12:29 PM
Subject: Rescue Line for Victims

State OES has learned that trapped victims on the Gulf Coast are calling family, friends, loved-ones, or anyone they can get a call out to in California asking for someone to rescue them. These requests need to go immediately to the US Coast Guard's Rescue Line at 800-323-7233 and immediate assistance will be sent. Please distribute this information as widely as possible. Thank you.
-----Original Message-----
The USCG web site also has the following numbers listed.

2005.08.31-First ever blog posting

I have resisted as long as I could, but I have finally been assimilated. Spacer now has a blog. This is the first posting. It is my third wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary to my wife. Tempus fugit. Now what kind of leather goods would be appropriate for the mother of my first child? Something in black, to be sure. But what form? Luggage? Clothing? Naughty clothing? Studded or fringed? Decisions, decisions....

Personal news of the day: My son stood up in his crib under his own power. As a result, the crib was lowered so he can't take a header out of it until he figures out how to climb.

Funniest thing I saw today: Watched some idiot in New Orleans driving his car at high speed into a road full of water. He said he couldn't see the water. Saw this on CNN (you probably did too, as they seem to be replaying the same small amount of video over and over).

Serious thoughts:
-Never live below sea level.
-Always have a disaster kit (weapons, tools, food, water, booze, and cash)
-Never hesitate to abandon property in the face of imminent disaster (or in the words of Monty Python and the Holy Grail, Run Away!. )
-Buy a boat (unless you live on top of a mountain)