How to improve your physical performance...

1. Contract a disease (any will do, so long as it fatigues you and/or interferes with breathing)
2. Get a flu shot
3. Go home and drink about four margaritas (I say about four, because who really keeps count after the second one)
4. Sleep poorly (having sick kids to wake you up a night will work, but no specific technique is required)
5. Wake up early
6. Take motrin
7. Drink coffee instead of water

Not sure if this works for everyone, but I managed to do more situps and run faster than I have in years.

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