What should I write about today?

I am sorry to my readers for not posting in a while.  No doubt you have all deleted this page from your bookmarks and I am now just writing for the pleasure of the vast almost intelligent internet.

Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head?  Not even something someone was singing, not something from the radio, just a song that started playing inside your brain and wouldn't stop?  I had this experience a while back.  Remember Michigan J. Frog?  He was the singing/dancing frog in Warner Brothers cartoons.  He was a one hit wonder-his only hit was an old song called "Hello, Ma Baby".  Here is the chorus:

Hello! ma baby, Hello! Ma honey, Hello! ma ragtime gal.
Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me, Honey, you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone;
Oh baby, telephone and tell me I'm your own.
Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello there.

By the way, the best way to get rid of a song in your head is to give it to someone else.  Sorry.

Here are some links:

• A blog about the frog
• An audio clip of the chorus
• A google search (over 66000 hits!)
• And of course, the obligatory You-Tube clip

One of my sillier posts, to be sure, but I have been meaning to post this one for a while.

Who's next?

A friend of mine known as Equalitist in this strange electronic realm has started a blog.  I knew this stuff was contagious.  Which one of you is next?  I linked to it in the title of this post, so check it out.

Another Memorial Day...

...has come and almost gone.  I was going to take the family to the town "wall", but plans were overcome by events.  As promised, here is another military poem, this one from 1847.  That was the time of the Mexican-American War, the Great Irish Potato Famine

The Bivouac of the Dead

By Theodore O'Hara, 1847

The muffled drum's sad roll has beat

The soldier's last tattoo'

No more on life's parade shall meet

That brave and fallen few;

On Fame's eternal camping ground

Their silent tents are spread;

But Glory guards with solemn round

The bivouac of the dead.

Location Revealed...

...I am blogging from the Hawaiian Islands.  The first set of pictures were from various places around Oahu.  The second set of pictures were from the Arizona Memorial (grave to some 900 US sailors).

Here are two more pictures from the Arizona.  The next two pictures show the wall of casualties from 07 DECEMBER 1941, a date which shall live in infamy.

Second photographic hints

Steel rusts and crumbles, oil leaks out of tanks, mingling with the water and making rainbows...

First photographic hints

I am close to the sea...

...but at one time an angry Earth made some mountain peaks near by...


...but the best scenes are often found while staring lazily up at the sky and consuming suitably diluted and flavored ethanol...

Complaining to myself...

...and to all of you lurkers out there. Seems a few new people wandered in from Anchorage, Alaska and somewhere in New Zealand.

I am reporting from somewhere in the Pacific (hint, I am on land and not on a boat, that ought to narrow it down to less than a thousand different islands).

I came across this link a while ago, but haven't bothered write about yet. It concerns something near and dear to my heart, namely leaving our cradle (Earth) and conquering the universe, or at least a couple of other rocks in the Solar System. I suppose it should come as no surprise that in this election year, as in most other election years, not a single bloody candidate cares. Check out this link from NPR:

http://marketplace.publicradio.org/display/web/2008/05/05/space_policy/

McCain vaguely mentions something on his website about sticking to the Bush plan, which while not bad, is also not tenable since it was never funded. Obama seems to think he can take money away from NASA to educate scientists and engineers (no mention of what they will do with these educated folks, since NASA and it's contractors will be downsizing as a result of funding cuts). Clinton seems to muddle along, vague and noncommittal (no doubt waiting to see which way the political winds are blowing). Clinton's only redeeming quality so far seems to have been hiring Lori Garver, whom I remember from her role in the National Space Society back in the day.

Ugh. I wanted my children to reach the stars. Hell, I wanted to put my bootprints on at least one other world before I died. At the rate things are going, I might live long enough to see the Chinese build their first moon base. Damn reds might beat us after all.

Attention candidates: Prove me wrong, please.

PS: I will try post some pictures tomorrow, just in case anyone wants to guess where I am.

It's been such a long time...

Hopefully the band Boston doesn't sue me for that title. In fact, I fervently hope no one ever sues me for anything. Pistols at dawn, I say. It's the only honorable way to solve minor disagreements.

In any case, it seems I have been slacking off on this whole blogging thing. Shame on me. Hopefully, you have found other means to entertain yourselves.

Here are some oddball items, links, etc, that I meant to write about. Somehow, I never get to sit down and waste time in front of a computer until I am almost too tired to do so. Ah for the good old days of Tetris, Wolfenstein, and Doom. When the internet was young and wild and slooooooooooow. Now, I spend my days working (outrageous, where is the socialist utopia where robots work and we play!!!) and I spend my evenings chasing kids and getting them to bed.

First link:

ZIPskinny

This link takes you to a site where you can learn various statistics about your zip code (or any other zip code). Oddly, it was missing crime stats. Never fear, intrepid readers, for that brings us to the next link...

Second link:

Family Watch Dog

This link takes you to a site where you can search for sex offenders, find their homes and places of work, see their pictures, descriptions, and crimes. Creepy in all kinds of ways. First, you can see just how many sex offenders are living near you. You can see their pictures (most look a bit off, but a couple were disturbingly normal looking). You can see the age of the victim (must control urge to hunt them down). But creepy from another perspective. How long will it take before we are all on a map somewhere, with pictures and other personal information? Assuming, of course, that we are not all plotted on a map somewhere already. And yes, I know, I have a map plotting your general locations posted right on my blog. Hypocrisy is a normal mode of thought for me. Big Brother is watching. "Thoughtcrime does not entail death: thoughtcrime is death." - George Orwell, 1984, Book 1, Chapter 2

Third link:

Brothel Field Trip

This link takes you to a CNN story about a college field trip. To Vegas. And just outside of Vegas to the Chicken Ranch to see a real brothel and meet the working girls. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over. When I was in college, we took a bus ride on the Skyway to Gary, IN to see a steel mill. Granted, we were engineering students, and the steel mill was cool (well, actually, it was really warm, because molten steel is really hot, oh never mind). But if someone said, come on to Vegas, we are going to see how engineering can effect the operations of casinos and brothels, I would have been all over it like a bad rash. Hmmm, perhaps an unwise simile for the subject matter. It's just not fair, I tell you. Kids these days don't know how good they have it. Etc etc blah blah blah, someone shoot me now, because I sound like an angry old man.

Final discussion: According to a travel security service my company uses, Ireland invaded Chad back in February. Somehow I missed that.

Chad February 21, 2008 11:24 GMT
Irish Troops Arrive in N'djamena
Approximately 50 Irish rangers arrived as a part of the EU peacekeeping force (EUFOR) on 21 February in the capital, N'djamena. The troops are scheduled to be deployed in the volatile eastern region of Chad, bordering Sudan and the Central African Republic (CAR). An additional 400 Irish troops are expected to be deployed in May. In a separate development on 20 February, three prominent newspapers in Chad announced a publishing strike until the government lifts the state of emergency. The media blackout was launched in protest against the state of emergency that places restrictions on the media.

Here are some supporting links:

Irish Times Article

Boston Globe Article

And this is the unit that Ireland sent:

Army Ranger Wing

Seems like a rough and ready outfit.

Does this make me a minority officially?

This was posted on my company's internal web page today (names have been altered to protect the guilty). I think this officially makes me a member of a minority (and not just a minority of one-see I knew what you were going to type in the comments). I want some status now, points when applying for Federal jobs, etc. We have a day and a month, just like the other minorities. We have jokes made about us, derogatory names, and stereotypes. The stereotypes make me so mad sometimes, I want to get drunk and punch somebody. Finally, after decades of work, the National Association for the Advancement of Irish People (NAAIP) has made some progress.

March 17, 2008 A message from the Office of Workforce Diversity. Celebrating National Irish American Heritage Month This month [deleted company] joins the rest of the country in celebrating Irish American Heritage Month. During Irish American Heritage Month, we celebrate Irish Americans and the significant contributions they have made to our nation.

During the Great Potato Famine of the 19th century, approximately one million Irish came to the United States. And over the past 150 years, millions more have come. In this country, Irish Americans have ably served in their communities, making great contributions in literature and the arts, in business and industry, in government and in the Armed Forces. Approximately 44 million Americans proudly share their Irish ancestry, especially in celebrating St. Patrick's Day with parades, family gatherings,
Masses and dances.

Our commitment to having an inclusive work environment, building a diverse work force, and continuously improving employee engagement make [deleted company] a great place to work. During this month we congratulate [deleted company] Irish American employees.

[deleted company] believes in having its work force reflect the diversity of our more than 9,000 customers in 190 countries around the world. We appreciate all employees for the work they do each day in support of our company's goal to be #1 in our industry.

The Dilbert Widget now on my blog!

Why be creative on my own, when other people are doing such a good job? Scott Adams now has a Dilbert widget for use with web sites. Look to the right. Enjoy.

Quiz Results

A friend sent me some links to some fun online quizzes, well fun if something is missing in your moral center anyway.

Here is how I did:
Five year olds beware:
24

It's clobberin' time! 'Nuff said.

Lunar survival skills:
56%

56%? I feel shame in my emotion processing unit. I should change my user name. My only solace is that I disagree with some of the choices.

My geek percentage:
74% Geek

I took the Death Report quiz and found that 131,367 People Died the Day I was Born. Less than I would have thought.

In addition to my life insurance, apparently my survivors could sell my corpse for:
$4305.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

And finally, since I have written about zombies before, here are my chances for the infamous zombie apocalypse scenario:
75%

Free California Dating

"I have a weak back..."

Found this on http://ocii.com/~cmeek/puns_v1c.htm:

Joe - I've got a weak back.
Moe - How long have you had a weak back?
Joe - Oh, for about a week back.
Moe - Sounds like you've got a weak back joke.
Joe - Mayhap a Bad Joke Week?
Moe - There -- have your weak joke back...
Joe - Yes, but you gave me my joke back weak!
Moe - This is a whole bag of weak jokes!
Joe - You mean you won't back a weak joke? Aw, c'mon.

So last week, as I was sitting on the floor trying to calm down a screaming child at 0-dark-30, a small bomb exploded in my back. Or at least that is what it felt like. I couldn't stand (pain was too great). I couldn't sit. All I could do was lay on the floor and whimper. I finally summoned enough courage to crawl all the way back to bed (still whimpering), where I stayed for most of the day. Got a doctor's appointment and was rewarded with many different kinds of drugs. A shot of some kind of anti-inflammatory drug, some steroids, some muscle relaxer and some hydrocodone. I am now practicing better living through chemistry. I was a little disappointed with the steroids, however. I have not bulked out like a weightlifter. Oh well. After a week, the pain was manageable, but it was still there. My next stop was a Magnetic Resonance Imaging (MRI) machine. After reviewing the images, the doc determined I have a bulging disc. I guess I will now get to see yet another doc next week.

I hope I haven't left you in spine-tingling suspense as you await the results. That would no doubt strike a nerve with some folks. I must now get off my tailbone and lumbar off to bed.

Surveillance results to date

Okay, as you may remember, I started spying on you, just to see who was reading this nonsense I write. Apparently, you folks are from all over the place. Here is a short list, in case you didn't check out the map:

Cupertino, CA (1)
Denver, CO (1)
Avoca, IA (1)
Highland Park, IL (2)
Denham Springs, LA (1)
North Hartland, VT (1)
Quincy, MA (3)
Mount Holly, NJ (1)
Rockville, MD (1)
Raleigh, NC (21)
Tampa, FL (1)
USA (9)
Clacton-on-sea, Essex, UK (1)
UK (2)
Antony, Ile-de-France, France (1)
Cluj, Romania (1)
Australia (1)

So, who are all you folks? I don't think I know anybody living in or near most of these places. Let's see what Google says about your home towns (or at least the place where the server sits):

Cupertino, CA--do you work for Apple Inc? I do believe I have mentioned Apple or iPhones or something once or twice on the blog.
Denver, CO--don't think this gets you into the mile high club that easily.
Avoca, IA--either this place is really boring and people are leaving, or you are all dying off, because your population is decreasing (1534 two years ago, down from 1610 in 2000).
Highland Park, IL--since I know people in Chicago, I assume this is where your ISP plugs into the Internet.
Denham Springs, LA--I have actually never been to Louisiana, but I see you are near Baton Rouge.
North Hartland, VT--I think I passed through your town on the way to Killington for a ski trip.
Quincy, MA--I have been to Boston a number of times and recognize the name from maps and road signs
Mount Holly, NJ--Predates the American Revolution by 69 years. Impressive.
Rockville, MD--I have been to Maryland, so maybe this was me logging into the blog.
Raleigh, NC--been to the airport while switching planes. Can't imagine who logged in 21 times from there.
Tampa, FL--I hid from a hurricane once in Tampa, but it didn't hit the place I was living, so it was a wasted trip.
Clacton-on-sea, Essex, UK--Apparently the home to a volunteer life saving station (Royal National Lifeboat Institution, http://www.rnli.org.uk/) similar to the USCG Auxiliary (http://www.cgaux.org/).
Antony, Ile-de-France, France--Looks like a Parisian suburb.
Cluj, Romania--Dates back to the Roman Empire and it's in Transylvania-vampires are now on the web.
Australia--Anyone that will give AC/DC a home is alright by me.

Swear a mighty oath

A friend is about to turn in their green card, take the oath and become a citizen. I knew there was an oath involved, but I really had no idea what it entailed. I have provided a link above, but here is the text of the Oath of Allegiance for Naturalized Citizens:

"I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God."

Wow. Maybe this whole illegal immigration phenomenon is grounded in this oath. You have got to have some stones to stand up and take this one (assuming you are honorable enough to mean what you say). The pledge of allegiance is down right wimpy and sad compared to the oath above. Just for comparison, this is an oath I am more familiar with, the Armed Forces Oath of Enlistment:

"I, __________, do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; and that I will obey the orders of the President of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me, according to regulations and the Uniform Code of Military Justice. So help me God.''

Still pretty scary stuff (it doesn't seem all that bad when you read it, but when you are repeating after the officer giving you the oath, with your right hand in the air, the whole weight of it just comes crashing down on your shoulders).

But going back to that oath of allegiance, a question for my fellow native born citizens: Would you be willing to take that oath of allegiance if you had to? If the answer is no, do you sleep easy at night?

Discovered on a vehicle sticker

As I was leaving the bank (this will make the web site seem even
funnier), I saw a sticker on the driver's side window of a car. The
sticker had the phrase 'Expect Resistance' in bold red letters. Below
that phrase was the following URL:

http://www.crimethinc.com/

Go ahead and check it out, I will wait right here.

Okay, now let me remind you that this sticker was on a relatively late
model car parked in a Bank of America parking lot. So someone from a
decentralized anarchist collective was driving the product of highly
industrialized capitalist society and engaging in banking at a large
nationwide bank with close ties to the federal government.

As metron always said, irony is very ironic.

Mobile blogging from my iPhone....

Mobile blogging test

This is a test of the mobile blogging system. This is only a test.
Had this been an actual blog entry, this entry would have contained
something interesting or funny or a picture or at least a pithy
comment instead of this boring play on the emergency broadcasting
system. This was only a test.

Sent from my iPhone

Christmas in Hell's Half Acre

Texas seems to like big things, including big trees. Picture taken with my camera phone a few days ago.

Survived Disneyworld

Travelled to Florida for a few days with the family. We survived running around WDW with our 3 year old and 2 year old children. This is not for the feint of heart, nor for those out of shape. The kids violated the laws of thermodynamics by expending more energy than they took in while accumulating size and mass. Note: WDW is getting truly creepy with finger print scanners, hard plastic tickets that double as room keys and credit cards (they have your name on them). No obviously armed guards, but the Animal Kingdom park had some serious external security (barbed wire fences and vehicle barriers).

How to improve your physical performance...

1. Contract a disease (any will do, so long as it fatigues you and/or interferes with breathing)
2. Get a flu shot
3. Go home and drink about four margaritas (I say about four, because who really keeps count after the second one)
4. Sleep poorly (having sick kids to wake you up a night will work, but no specific technique is required)
5. Wake up early
6. Take motrin
7. Drink coffee instead of water

Not sure if this works for everyone, but I managed to do more situps and run faster than I have in years.

Armistice Day aka Veteran's Day

On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month in 1918, most of the slaughter in Europe ended for a while. Most of the men and women that lived through that war are gone, so there are few to remember and tell the tales of that time.

Here is a poem from that war that ended fifty three years before I was born. The poet died one week before the armistice.

Dulce et Decorum Est
by Wilfred Owen

Bent double, like old beggars under sacks,
Knock-kneed, coughing like hags, we cursed through sludge,
Till on the haunting flares we turned our backs
And towards our distant rest began to trudge.
Men marched asleep. Many had lost their boots
But limped on, blood-shod. All went lame; all blind;
Drunk with fatigue; deaf even to the hoots
Of tired, outstripped Five-Nines that dropped behind.

Gas! Gas! Quick, boys!–An ecstasy of fumbling,
Fitting the clumsy helmets just in time;
But someone still was yelling out and stumbling
And flound'ring like a man in fire or lime...
Dim, through the misty panes and thick green light,
As under a green sea, I saw him drowning.

In all my dreams, before my helpless sight,
He plunges at me, guttering, choking, drowning.

If in some smothering dreams you too could pace
Behind the wagon that we flung him in,
And watch the white eyes writhing in his face,
His hanging face, like a devil's sick of sin;
If you could hear, at every jolt, the blood
Come gargling from the froth-corrupted lungs,
Obscene as cancer, bitter as the cud
Of vile, incurable sores on innocent tongues,–
My friend, you would not tell with such high zest
To children ardent for some desperate glory,
The old Lie: Dulce et decorum est
Pro patria mori.