Happy 2009!

Happy 2009.  Nothing extraordinary going on.  I am alive and so are most of the people I care about.

Since I don't have much to say, let's go all traditional and hear from Robbie Burns instead (he of the hee-land lassies):

Auld Lang Syne

by

Robert Burns

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 

And never brought to mind? 

Should auld acquaintance be forgot, 

And days o' auld lang syne.

Chorus

And for auld lang syne, my jo, 

For auld lang syne, 

We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet, 

For auld lang syne,

And surely ye'll be your pint-stowp! 

And surely I'll be mine! 

And we'll tak a cup o' kindness yet, 

For auld lang syne. 

We twa hae run about the braes 

And pu'd the gowans fine; 

But we've wander'd mony a weary foot 

Sin auld lang syne. 

We twa hae paidl'd i' the burn, 

Frae mornin' sun till dine; 

But seas between us braid hae roar'd 

Sin auld lang syne. 

And there's a hand, my trusty fiere! 

And gie's a hand o' thine! 

And we'll tak a right guid willy waught, 

For auld lang syne.

Sorry for the low blog output

But I was kidnapped by aliens.  Amazon women from the moon.  I am being completely honest.

In any case, I finally published a blog entry on the Great Gallbladder Incident of '08 (see post entitled Fun With Gallstones).

Best new term I have seen lately:  Deja Moo, the strange sensation that you have heard all this bullshit before.

Best description of the Mumbai attack from John Oliver on the Daily Show on 01DEC2008: "the work of some unbelievable motherfuckers working in tandem with giant assholes"  See it all here: http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml?videoId=210920&title=mumbai-tragedy

Nothing much else going on right now.  Will come up with something to write about soon.

What should I write about today?

I am sorry to my readers for not posting in a while.  No doubt you have all deleted this page from your bookmarks and I am now just writing for the pleasure of the vast almost intelligent internet.

Have you ever gotten a song stuck in your head?  Not even something someone was singing, not something from the radio, just a song that started playing inside your brain and wouldn't stop?  I had this experience a while back.  Remember Michigan J. Frog?  He was the singing/dancing frog in Warner Brothers cartoons.  He was a one hit wonder-his only hit was an old song called "Hello, Ma Baby".  Here is the chorus:

Hello! ma baby, Hello! Ma honey, Hello! ma ragtime gal.
Send me a kiss by wire, baby my heart's on fire!
If you refuse me, Honey, you'll lose me, then you'll be left alone;
Oh baby, telephone and tell me I'm your own.
Hello! Hello! Hello! Hello there.

By the way, the best way to get rid of a song in your head is to give it to someone else.  Sorry.

Here are some links:

• A blog about the frog
• An audio clip of the chorus
• A google search (over 66000 hits!)
• And of course, the obligatory You-Tube clip

One of my sillier posts, to be sure, but I have been meaning to post this one for a while.

Does this make me a minority officially?

This was posted on my company's internal web page today (names have been altered to protect the guilty). I think this officially makes me a member of a minority (and not just a minority of one-see I knew what you were going to type in the comments). I want some status now, points when applying for Federal jobs, etc. We have a day and a month, just like the other minorities. We have jokes made about us, derogatory names, and stereotypes. The stereotypes make me so mad sometimes, I want to get drunk and punch somebody. Finally, after decades of work, the National Association for the Advancement of Irish People (NAAIP) has made some progress.

March 17, 2008 A message from the Office of Workforce Diversity. Celebrating National Irish American Heritage Month This month [deleted company] joins the rest of the country in celebrating Irish American Heritage Month. During Irish American Heritage Month, we celebrate Irish Americans and the significant contributions they have made to our nation.

During the Great Potato Famine of the 19th century, approximately one million Irish came to the United States. And over the past 150 years, millions more have come. In this country, Irish Americans have ably served in their communities, making great contributions in literature and the arts, in business and industry, in government and in the Armed Forces. Approximately 44 million Americans proudly share their Irish ancestry, especially in celebrating St. Patrick's Day with parades, family gatherings,
Masses and dances.

Our commitment to having an inclusive work environment, building a diverse work force, and continuously improving employee engagement make [deleted company] a great place to work. During this month we congratulate [deleted company] Irish American employees.

[deleted company] believes in having its work force reflect the diversity of our more than 9,000 customers in 190 countries around the world. We appreciate all employees for the work they do each day in support of our company's goal to be #1 in our industry.

Quiz Results

A friend sent me some links to some fun online quizzes, well fun if something is missing in your moral center anyway.

Here is how I did:
Five year olds beware:
24

It's clobberin' time! 'Nuff said.

Lunar survival skills:
56%

56%? I feel shame in my emotion processing unit. I should change my user name. My only solace is that I disagree with some of the choices.

My geek percentage:
74% Geek

I took the Death Report quiz and found that 131,367 People Died the Day I was Born. Less than I would have thought.

In addition to my life insurance, apparently my survivors could sell my corpse for:
$4305.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth.

And finally, since I have written about zombies before, here are my chances for the infamous zombie apocalypse scenario:
75%

Free California Dating

Surveillance results to date

Okay, as you may remember, I started spying on you, just to see who was reading this nonsense I write. Apparently, you folks are from all over the place. Here is a short list, in case you didn't check out the map:

Cupertino, CA (1)
Denver, CO (1)
Avoca, IA (1)
Highland Park, IL (2)
Denham Springs, LA (1)
North Hartland, VT (1)
Quincy, MA (3)
Mount Holly, NJ (1)
Rockville, MD (1)
Raleigh, NC (21)
Tampa, FL (1)
USA (9)
Clacton-on-sea, Essex, UK (1)
UK (2)
Antony, Ile-de-France, France (1)
Cluj, Romania (1)
Australia (1)

So, who are all you folks? I don't think I know anybody living in or near most of these places. Let's see what Google says about your home towns (or at least the place where the server sits):

Cupertino, CA--do you work for Apple Inc? I do believe I have mentioned Apple or iPhones or something once or twice on the blog.
Denver, CO--don't think this gets you into the mile high club that easily.
Avoca, IA--either this place is really boring and people are leaving, or you are all dying off, because your population is decreasing (1534 two years ago, down from 1610 in 2000).
Highland Park, IL--since I know people in Chicago, I assume this is where your ISP plugs into the Internet.
Denham Springs, LA--I have actually never been to Louisiana, but I see you are near Baton Rouge.
North Hartland, VT--I think I passed through your town on the way to Killington for a ski trip.
Quincy, MA--I have been to Boston a number of times and recognize the name from maps and road signs
Mount Holly, NJ--Predates the American Revolution by 69 years. Impressive.
Rockville, MD--I have been to Maryland, so maybe this was me logging into the blog.
Raleigh, NC--been to the airport while switching planes. Can't imagine who logged in 21 times from there.
Tampa, FL--I hid from a hurricane once in Tampa, but it didn't hit the place I was living, so it was a wasted trip.
Clacton-on-sea, Essex, UK--Apparently the home to a volunteer life saving station (Royal National Lifeboat Institution, http://www.rnli.org.uk/) similar to the USCG Auxiliary (http://www.cgaux.org/).
Antony, Ile-de-France, France--Looks like a Parisian suburb.
Cluj, Romania--Dates back to the Roman Empire and it's in Transylvania-vampires are now on the web.
Australia--Anyone that will give AC/DC a home is alright by me.

Halloween in Fort Worth

What was once a wild and weird night of fun, pranks, and little risk (the infamous needle in a candy bar or a kidnapping), is now a carefully regulated activity. Trick or treat occurs between 1830 and 2030 hours local time. Kids used to travel in groups having fun (at least when I was growing up in the last century). Now they seem to travel in ones or twos under close parental escort. Half the people on the block just put a bowl of candy outside, rather than truly participating in the holiday. Half the kids just show up and hold out their bags. You have to tell them to say trick or treat. Most still say thanks, so we are still in the decline of western civilization and not yet in the fall of western civilization.