2005/09/19

From the mouths of lawyers

I found this quote on CNN:

"To endorse Google's library initiative is to say "it's OK to break into my house because you're going to clean my kitchen," said Sally Morris, chief executive of the U.K.-based Association of Learned and Professional Society Publishers. "Just because you do something that's not harmful or (is) beneficial doesn't make it legal.""

So remember, the next time you are doing some harmless, beneficial thing, you may be braking the law.

Small wonder that lawyers seem to have inspired Shakespeare to write:

"Cade. Be brave, then; for your captain is brave, and vows reformation. There shall be in England seven halfpenny loaves sold for a penny; the three-hooped pot shall have ten hoops; and I will make it felony to drink small beer. All the realm shall be in common, and in Cheapside shall my palfrey go to grass. And, when I am king, -- as king I will be,--

All. God save your majesty!

Cade. I thank you, good people; -- there shall be no money; all shall eat and drink on my score; and I will apparel them all in one livery, that they may agree like brothers, and worship me their lord.

Butch. The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.

Cade. Nay, that I mean to do. Is not this a lamentable thing, that of the skin of an innocent lamb should be made parchment? that parchment, being scribbled o'er, should undo a man? Some say the bee stings; but I say, 'tis the bee's wax, for I did but seal once to a thing, and I was never my own man since."

For an interesting discussion of what the Bard really meant, check out Harvard's Law Blog.

For some lawyer jokes, check out Lawyer Jokes and Cartoons

2005/09/18

Bigfoot, P.I., John Roberts, and Wolverine

For some reason, everyone seems to be blogging about John Roberts. I don't know why, as most of the lawyers I know are not that interesting (exceptions being lawyers with engineering undergraduate degrees). I did not want to be left behind in the blog race, but I have nothing to say about him. Fortunately, my friend Metron has once again come to the rescue. As you may recall, he surfs the web so I don't have to. In any case, here is a link to someone else's blog about John Roberts and one of the most important supreme court issues of the day, Logan vs. Wayne.

Logan vs. Wayne Decision

Wow. That is unbelieveable. How can he not take a stance on such a critical manner? He sounded almost as if he was waffling-something only Democrats and Belgians should engage in. I can understand teh difficulty in making a choice (adamantium vs wonderful toys, attitude vs healing power). But they are obviously evenly matched in funky pointy head gear type costumes and they are both a little off-kilter. So you have to make a choice. Any attempt to weigh their respective advantages will lead one down into the slippery slope of universal acceptance, affirmative action and democracy. One has to go from the gut here, and while I really hate to back anything made in Canada, make mine Logan!

By the way, when I saw the title of the blog, for some reason my mind read it as Detective Yeti, and I kept picturing a large, hirsute being in a fedora and trenchcoat (with the mandatory Colt .45 M1911A1 in a shoulder rig). Some sort of sureal opening line keeps running through my head ("This is the Himalayas. It's 5am and someone is about to do something bad on Everest. My name is Yeti....).

2005/09/10

Curious religious thoughts

Alright, calm down, I have not found religion. Except for ones based on supreme beings made from food. Speaking of which, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster now has an online rival. It is called Spaghetti and Pulsar Activating Meatballs (SPAM) and apparently it's followers are gearing up for a holy war. I am fascinated that two individuals who invented parody religions are now about to go to war over their religions (if only virtually-hopefully only virtually).

For some reason this whole situation causes my mind to wonder a bit about all this intelligent design nonsense that has been circulating lately. Think about this general set of concepts:

1. Most backers of "intelligent design" are members of what might be called the American religious right.
2. Most members of the American religious right place heavy emphasis on the mores of the Old Testament, while saying the name Jesus to differentiate themselves from Jews and Muslims.
3. The "intelligent design" myth basically echoes the ideas of Genesis (a book essentially copied from the Jewish Torah), combined with some goofball bishop's calculation that the earth is only ~5000 years old (said calculation performed before the discovery/identification of fossils, carbon dating, theory of evolution/big bang).
4. Jesus (or more likely Joshua or Yeshua) was a Jew, as were all of his disciples and most of his original followers.

Based on this, I keep coming to one conclusion: CHRISTIANITY IS JEWISH CONSPIRACY.

How is that for mind blowing?

Spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spammity spam over the spam

2005/09/02

Foamy the Squirrel Commentary on Hurricane Media Response

The link in the title says it all when it comes to news anchors, reporters, disasters, and looters. Not safe for work (so play it loud!!!!). Courtesy of my friend Metron who surfs the web so I don't have to.

Red Cross-dontate if you can

2005/09/01

Busted!


I ditched my family and went drinking with some crazy people last Saturday. Never go drinking with test engineers. All those years of breathing jet fuel fumes makes you crazy.

Stupid Pig Personality Test


Okay, so I took this stupid pig personality test at the suggestion of a coworker. I didn't want to spend a lot of time, since I was at work and could not figure out how I would justify this to my boss if he caught me. So I worked fast and drew a quick profile. Apparently, the amount of pig you draw is supposed to indicate something. Had I known this, I would definitely have drawn a long tail. Anyway, here it is:

[I wonder if I could now legimately claim to have butchered a hog? Check off another critical skill...]